Bereavement

The experience of losing someone important to us.

What is bereavement?

Bereavement is a common, sad, deeply upsetting, traumatic experience and it usually happens when someone close to a person has died. Bereavement can have a traumatic effect on a person’s life. Grief is the acute pain that accompanies loss. Feelings of sadness and loss can also accompany other losses, for example ill health or the end of an important relationship. Bereavement is a particularly vulnerable time, especially for children and young people.

Grief

Grief can have a long- lasting and traumatic impact on children and young people. It might be revisited throughout their lives, particularly at key times, for example, starting a new school, going to university, starting a job, getting married or having their own children. It is important to reassure children and young people that it is okay to get on with their lives when they are ready and that there should not feel any guilt about doing things that make them happy and help them cope.

Top Tips:

Be prepared to adapt your conversation to each child or young person. Be led by what they want to know.
Don’t be afraid to tell the child or young person if you don’t know the answer to questions they ask.
Reassure children that it is ok to talk about the death or current situation.
Talking to family friends, the GP or a professional councillor, or contacting a specialist bereavement organisation
Consider peer support where people who have been through similar experiences can help
Support the child or young person to search and download free wellbeing, mental health and relaxation Apps from the internet. 2
Children may have questions; let them know that it is okay and that they can ask when they are ready.
Celebrate the life of the deceased person.
Let the child know that you are there to talk if they want to • Understand that unrealistic thinking can be a natural response to a loss.
Let children and young people know that they will eventually come to terms with the loss, in their own time and in their own way.
Remember that the grieving process differs from person to person and therefore the impact of the trauma can be difficult to identify.

What can be the effects on children and young people who experience bereavement?

Bereavement can have particularly traumatic effects on children and young people. These include not doing well with their schoolwork, low confidence, being at greater risk of dying young, including a greater risk of dying by suicide. Behaviour can change, which might include clinginess, aggression, regression, being distant, anger, sleep problems and lack of concentration. Being bereaved when you are a child is also strongly related to teenage pregnancy, substance misuse, low participation in education, employment and training, relationship problems with friends and mental health difficulties including anxiety and depression in adulthood.

Information, Resources & Support

Dorset Open Door - Dorset Open Door supports people who have been bereaved or affected by a death where the cause may be suicide or be particularly traumatic or sudden.

Talk Grief - Talk Grief is a dedicated online space for grieving teenagers and young adults (13 to 25), powered by the childhood bereavement charity Winston’s Wish. Here you can learn from other young grieving people, find healthy ways to cope and feel less alone. You’ll find out what it’s really like to live with grief from teenagers and young adults, along with advice and tips on managing your grief from our bereavement experts.

Winston’s Wish supports bereaved children, young people, their families, and the professionals who support them.

Apart of Me (12-18) - was co-created by experts in child psychology and bereaved young people and translates bereavement counselling techniques into a 3D world. A guide supports the user along their journey. The in-app journey is designed to help users explore, accept, understand, and articulate your experience of grief and the wide range of emotions connected to it.

Bereavement Advice Centre - Advice for dealing with bereavement, helping others deal with grief, and information for professionals.

Child Bereavement UK provides bereavement support and guidance to parents, children, young people and professionals

Placetobe - Supporting your child when someone dies, Help children grieve at their own pace.

Lullaby Trust; offers confidential support bereavement support to anyone affected by the sudden and unexpected death of a baby or young child

Cruse Bereavement Care: offers support, advice and information to children, young people and adults when someone dies and to enhance society’s care of bereaved people.

Dying Matters: to help people talk more openly about dying, death and bereavement.

Mosaic - support children and young people who have been bereaved of someone special, such as a parent, sibling, friend or a member of their extended family. This includes all causes of death such as long-term illness, sudden death, suicide, murder or road traffic accident.

Bereavement and pupils with SEND

My Granddad plants people - A simple guide for grown-ups when children ask questions about death - This guide was written by a funeral director and helps adults deal with the questions raised by children about death and funerals.

Childhood Bereavement Network - The Childhood Bereavement Network (CBN) is the hub for those working with bereaved children, young people and their families across the UK.

Marie curie - How grief may effect children, offers emotional support and practical information for anyone affected by terminal illness, and their friends and families.

Hope Again is the youth website of Cruse Bereavement Support. It is a safe place where you can learn from other young people, how to cope with grief, and feel less alone.

The Good Grief Trust offers a range of bereavement support services.

Care for the Family are a national charity which aims to strengthen family life and to help those who face family difficulties including bereavement.

At a Loss - helps bereaved people find help and support.

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